Australian Pastafarian Lobby

Media Releases

Have You Been Touched Down Under

Sunday, 25th October 2015

Pastafarians across the nation are choking on their noodles, after The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Australia’s (CFSMA) application for incorporation as a non-for-profit organisation status was rejected by the Commissioner for Corporate Affairs. The Commissioner rejected the application on the outrageous grounds that, in their opinion, the CFSMA was not formed for a religious purpose.

CFSMA has appealed this wildly discriminatory decision. “The grounds for appeal be simple,” said Australian Pastafarian Lobby (APL) spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta. “How can ye be provin’ whether anyone’s faith is genuine or not?”

The CFSMA is now calling for all pasta sauce lovin’ Pastafarians in the country to sign and send in statutory declarations stating that their belief in a giant floating pasta-based lifeform is 100% genuine. The Church plans to use these statements as evidence in their appeal.

“It’s high time that Australian Pastafarians stood up for their right to have their religion recognised the same as them other, non-pasta-based religions,” said Cap’n Pasta.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a religion based on two principles: belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and a love of carbohydrates in all their forms. In recent years, the Church has had success in gaining recognition from governments across the globe, especially in rights to equal treatment with other religions.

Those who have been touched by his noodly appendages down under can send their statutory declarations to PO Box 520, Stirling, South Australia, 5152.

RAmen

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

Pastafarian can use this pre-prepared STAT DEC to show their support for the CFSMA

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokespirate for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

Religious persecution of Pastafarianism by South Australian Fun Police

Friday, 20th June 2014

The Australian Pastafarian Lobby (APL) is outraged, following news that a South Australian man was ordered by police to undergo psychiatric evaluation for wearing a colander on his head in his firearms license photograph.

The man, 30-year-old disability support officer Guy Albon, donned the religious headwear traditionally worn by members of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster when he had his license photo taken last year.

Taking a license photo with religious headwear is a perfectly legal act in Australia, Mr Albon explained. “The law stipulates you can have something on your head … but you have to have your entire face uncovered and if the headgear is being worn it has to have some religious significance,” Mr Albon said. 

But six months later when attempting to change his license classification, police became concerned about the photograph. Uniformed police officers visited Mr Albon’s house in order to confiscate his four firearms and order him to undergo psychiatric evaluation, according to the ninemsn report. 

“I was laughing … I had to go and tell (a psychiatrist) what I was doing. The psychiatrist just laughed, he said ‘you’re kidding right’,” Mr Albon said.

Despite having his license subsequently approved, Mr Albon was forced to retake the photograph without the sacred religious attire on his head.

APL spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta says the confiscation of Mr Albon’s firearms and enforced psychiatric evaluation represents a clear case of religious persecution. “Can ye imagine such a thing happenin’ if this were a Catholic nun, or a woman wearing a hijab, or a man in a yarmulke? No one should be havin’ their civil liberties violated simply because of the religion they follow!” Cap’n Cannonballs said.

“We be requestin’ a formal apology from the SA Fun Police and an official statement that this kind’a religious persecution will ne’er happen again. We stand for equality and dignity for all the religions aboard this big boat called Australia!” Cap’n Cannonballs said.

The APL encourages all followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to proudly don a colander in their next license photograph. For more information, see apl.org.au/colander-license

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokespirate for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

Launch of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Australia

Tuesday, 3rd June 2014

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The Australian Pastafarian Lobby (APL) today has officially launched the campaign to have the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster officially recognised as a religion in Australia.

Poland has recently paved the way for Pastafarianism to become an officially-recognised religion, after a Warsaw court overturned a 2013 decision barring the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster from registering as a religion.

The decision has also been welcomed with Dolmio grins in Australia by the APL. “The tide be turnin’ against those who be tryin’ to deny our authenticity as a religion, says I,” APL spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta said. “And we’re takin’ this opportunity to declare that we’ll now be pushing for the same religious equality in this kangaroo-infested land.”

Responding to Catholic Church criticism that the Polish court’s decision represents an anti-Catholic provocation, Cap’n Pasta said that, “This decision be about equality, not provocation! Everybody should be free to worship the religion they choose – whether it be one led by a white beardy man in the sky, or one led by a sentient levitating mass of carbohydrate-rich pasta. Religious equality is all we be wantin’!”

Those Pasta-worshippers interested in assisting the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Australia to attain religious status in Australia can pledge their support for the Church through the link below.

http://www.apl.org.au/cfsma

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokespirate for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

2014-2015 Budget “For Landlubbers”, says Australian Pastafarian Lobby

Wednesday, 14th May 2014

The Australian Pastafarian Lobby says Tony Abbott’s 2014-2015 budget is a horrendous piece of work, and is riddled with oversights and bizarre priorities.

“This be a budget by landlubbers, for landlubbers,” said Australian Pastafarian Lobby spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta.

“Over $12 billion for a battalion of broken jets, and not a red doubloon for a single sea-farin’ galleon! How are we supposed to stay competitive in the global plunderin’ game?”

Also disappointing is the budget’s $245 million provision for the continuation of a Christian denomination- only school chaplaincy program, Cap’n Cannonballs said.

“Weren’t this supposed to be a modern democracy, based on the principal of separation of church and state? If the federal government be funding Christian preachers in taxpayer-funded schools, I be demandin’ they also fund a network o’ pirates to teach the litt’luns about our Lord & Saviour, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Parmesan Be Upon Him).

“This so-called ‘debt crisis’ be the biggest fabrication since Cap’n Kidd’s treasure! Even if the beat-up about a ‘debt crisis’ were true, there be no serious attempt in this budget to reduce the supposedly out-o-control debt levels, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, so says I.”

The Australian Pastafarian Lobby was also disgusted by the budget’s funding cuts to education, Centrelink, Aboriginal Australians, pensioners, the ABC, foreign aid and the public service – but could not find a humorous way of tying these into pasta and pirates, the spokespirate said.

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokespirate for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

 

Party 4 Pastafarians (0% Tax on Beer) launched for SA and WA elections

Sunday, 9th March 2014

South Australians and Western Australians are tired of the major parties’ repeated broken promises and squabbling, and so a new major party is being launched for the SA and WA elections – the “Party 4 Pastafarians – 0% Tax on Beer” – also to be known as “P4P”.

“We think that what the people of South and Western Australia truly desire is clear– zero percent tax on their grog! Arrrrrr ha ha harrr!” said Australian Pastafarian Lobby spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta.

“It’s about time those landlubbers in government got their mitts off of our bubbly malted treasures, says I.”

Cap’n Pasta made the announcement that the Party 4 Pastafarians will contest the upcoming state elections in South Australia (on Sat March 15) and Western Australia (on Sat April 5).

In addition to ending the cruel tax on beer, the Party 4 Pastafarians will advocate an end to all mining activity in favour of wildly increased galleon construction, Cap’n Pasta said.

“Plunderin’ jewels on the high seas be far more lucrative than diggin’ up dirt from the land, y’arrr.”

The Party for Pastafarians (0% Tax on Beer) was organised to provide political representation for Australian Pastafarians. Policies of the party include a 0% tax on beer, clear carbohydrate labelling for all products, and as many same sex marriages as is possible without actively forcing heterosexuals to wed. More information about the party is online at http://www.apl.org.au/p4p.

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokesperson for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

Pastafarians celebrate ‘International Talk Like A Pirate Day’

Pastafarians celebrate ‘International Talk Like A Pirate Day’

Thursday, 19th September, 2013

Avast! Australian Pastafarians today are rejoicing in their pirate heritage; for ye who dresses and talks like a pirate be truly touched by his noodly appendage on ‘International Talk Like Pirate Day’!

“Arrr, this be our most holy religious holiday, but if that doesn’t get you off scrubbing the decks, take your pirate talk to your cruel and unjust Captain and see how long it takes before they make yer walk the plank!”, Australian Pastafarian Lobby (APL) spokesperson Cap’n Henry Morgan said.

As the prophet Bobby Henderson (Pasta Be Upon Him) wrote in the Gospel of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, International Talk Like A Pirate Day takes place every September 19, and is yet another opportunity for Pastafarians to celebrate their Pirate heritage. Pastafarians are urged to dress up like Pirates and search out wenches and grog.

How does one talk like a true Pirate? Here’s the basics:

Ahoy! – “Hello!”
Avast! – “Stop and give attention”
Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”
Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”
Arrr! – Can mean, variously, “yes”, “I agree”, “I’m enjoying this beer” or “that was a clever remark you or I just made.”

So remember, ye scurvy dogs, dress up as a pirate and go have fun!

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE 

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:

Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokesperson for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

Pastafarians concerned about religious discrimination by the ABC

Pastafarians concerned about religious discrimination by the ABC

Tuesday, 20th August, 2013

Pastafarian Australians are being denied religious equality by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC). When asked what is the users religious affiliation while using the ABC’s ‘Vote Compass’ website, there is no option to identify themselves as Pastafarian. This is a clear case of discrimination against followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM).

Australian Pastafarian Lobby (APL) spokesperson Cap’n Henry Morgan said “With millions, if not hundreds, of devout worshippers in Australia, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents – mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God has larger balls than theirs.”

“The sea urchins over at the ABC at should be walkin’ the plank for not including Pastafarians”, Morgan said.

“Those land lubbers should include Pastafarianism in the drop down list of religions on the ‘Vote Compass’ website immediately, arrrr!”, he said.

The APL awaits the timely correction of this oversight from the ABC, and calls for Pastafarianism to be included in all future religious demographic questions. The APL notes that Pastafarianism has already been formally and legally recognised in the United States, the Netherlands, Austria and the Czech Republic.

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For a PDF version of this media release click HERE

About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.

For Further Media Information Contact:

Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokesperson for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
aplobby@gmail.com
http://www.apl.org.au

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RESPONSE FROM THE ABC:

Thanks for your feedback. 

The demographic options in Vote Compass were based on Australian Bureau of Statistics classifications.

However, we have taken your suggestion into consideration.

Kind regards

ABC News Online