Wednesday, 14th May 2014
The Australian Pastafarian Lobby says Tony Abbott’s 2014-2015 budget is a horrendous piece of work, and is riddled with oversights and bizarre priorities.
“This be a budget by landlubbers, for landlubbers,” said Australian Pastafarian Lobby spokespirate Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta.
“Over $12 billion for a battalion of broken jets, and not a red doubloon for a single sea-farin’ galleon! How are we supposed to stay competitive in the global plunderin’ game?”
Also disappointing is the budget’s $245 million provision for the continuation of a Christian denomination- only school chaplaincy program, Cap’n Cannonballs said.
“Weren’t this supposed to be a modern democracy, based on the principal of separation of church and state? If the federal government be funding Christian preachers in taxpayer-funded schools, I be demandin’ they also fund a network o’ pirates to teach the litt’luns about our Lord & Saviour, the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Parmesan Be Upon Him).
“This so-called ‘debt crisis’ be the biggest fabrication since Cap’n Kidd’s treasure! Even if the beat-up about a ‘debt crisis’ were true, there be no serious attempt in this budget to reduce the supposedly out-o-control debt levels, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, so says I.”
The Australian Pastafarian Lobby was also disgusted by the budget’s funding cuts to education, Centrelink, Aboriginal Australians, pensioners, the ABC, foreign aid and the public service – but could not find a humorous way of tying these into pasta and pirates, the spokespirate said.
– Ends –
For a PDF version of this media release click HERE
About the Australian Pastafarian Lobby
The vision of the APL is to see Pastafarian principles and ethics accepted and influencing the way we are governed, do business, and relate to each other as a community.
For Further Media Information Contact:
Cap’n Cannonballs Pasta, Spokespirate for the Australian Pastafarian Lobby